Limits.
Where are you limiting yourself in life?
My family and I were having a pleasant meal, which is hard to come by sometimes with two five-year-olds, one 2.5 year-old and an infant. Not to mention the two dogs prowling for crumbs and whole, jackpot-sized chunks of food that accidentally get dropped by the kids, which are immediately devoured, which leads to a meltdown by the kid because the dog ate their dinner. Meals can go bad quickly, which is why I particularly remember this pleasant, peaceful meal.
Somewhere in the middle of this peaceful meal, I noticed my son sulking. Of all the kids, he’s the one who loves eating. And at this moment in the meal, he had a plate of fresh, delicious vegetables. (Yes, he actually does love vegetables. He eats them first and will typically ask for more). So, I couldn’t figure out why he would be sulking. For him, sulking with a plate of delicious food just doesn’t add up. I began to wonder at all of the scenarios that could have sparked the sulking: Did his sister hit him and I missed it? Did he drop said delicious food and a dog ate it? Is he feeling sick?
But, no. When I asked him what’s up, he looked at me teary eyed with a quivering chin, “I don’t have any more hummus.” In my head I’m thinking, Wait, what? Who told him he couldn’t have more hummus? Did he ask for hummus and we didn’t respond? Is he feeling ignored?’ As it turns out – it wasn’t that he was told he couldn’t have more hummus by me or his dad – it was that he told himself he couldn’t have more hummus. He just figured that when he was out of hummus, he was out, end of story, and he wouldn’t get anymore and he’d have to eat his veggies plain (insert sulking). He didn’t stop to think that more hummus was a possibility. He didn’t dream he’d get more, so he didn’t even think to ask for it.
This scenario reminded me of an all-too-similar story a dear friend shared with me. The story goes something like this…
The Elephant and the Stake
Baby elephants are trained to stay put by tethering them to a stake in the ground. As a baby, the elephant will pull and tug and try to run and break free from the chain holding it in place. Eventually, though, the baby elephant will understand that it cannot leave – it will start to understand that it is restricted to that tiny length of the tether around its ankle.
As the elephant grows, the space restriction caused by the stake and tether becomes a part of the elephant’s identity. It doesn’t know any different and it believes this is all the space there is. When it grows into an adult, the stake and tether could not possibly hold the elephant given an adult elephant’s size and strength. Interestingly, though, the tethered length of space has become so much engrained in the elephant that it stays. The adult elephant, by simply having a chain tied to their ankle – completely free of the ground, not staked in – will remain within the limited boundaries of the length of the tether. The elephants self-impose this space restriction even though they are no longer actually chained to the ground. With their strength they could easily go anywhere, do anything, and not let anyone hold them down. They are completely able to move freely, to leave their current scenario, to explore and do more than they’d ever dreamed possible. However, similar to my son telling himself he couldn’t have more hummus - so much so that he didn’t even ask for more - the elephant stays in the restricted space.
The elephant has a limiting belief in herself telling her she can’t move, she can’t go, she can’t do.
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Wow. Can you feel it? Can you feel the lesson from these two stories? Can you feel the breakthrough?
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What are you telling yourself you can’t have? How are you limiting yourself?
Where in your life are you settling or sulking or just plain not dreaming?
What are you not asking for?
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Insert ‘you’ into the last two sentences of the elephant story:
With your strength you could easily go anywhere, do anything, and not let anyone hold you down. You are completely able to move freely, to leave your current scenario, to explore and do more than you’ve ever dreamed possible.
You are.
You are strong. You can do anything.
Let go of the limiting story you’re telling yourself. Start dreaming. Ask for more. Go for it!
I want more for you than the limiting, restricting, not-dreaming story you’re telling yourself. Sometimes these stories come in the form of “not enough” (i.e.: I’m not enough. I don’t have enough time. I don’t know enough, etc). I’ve been there, trust me. Heck, I’m still there! There are still many limiting stories that I tell myself and I seek help to identify and overcome these. Awareness is key.
If you want help identifying and overcoming your own limiting stories, wander over to the “Contact Us” page and send me a message to explore coaching with me as an avenue to dream, explore, ask for more, and go far in life.